Recently, my son Quinn turned fifteen months. He is currently walking, running, learning words, mimicking facial expressions, the infamous arching of the back fit, the head-butting a hard solid object fit, the slap myself fit, and the newest one to the mix, the stick my fingers in my mouth and choke myself, and on occasion make my self hurl for attention fit. Although he throws fits on a daily basis and can be a big turd, and a pain in my butt, I would not change him or trade him for any other baby in the world. Because despite all the frustrating things he does that get under my skin. I was blessed with the opportunity to be a mom to this extremely cute, handsome, and adorably amazing creature, that God crafted and made unique just for Justin and I!!
I was so unsure about having children. Actually a few years ago you would have heard me say that "I am never having children, well if I do I will be like 36!!!" I had dreams and goals that I wanted to accomplish before I had a little me running a-muck. If you where to ask me if I would change anything from my past so that I would not end up being a mom at 19 my answer would be no. I would have done things a little smarter but i would not change anything about my past that would take Quinn away from me.
Yes, it is true that he was the product of a sin, but we turned that sin into a blessing, by doing the right thing, by staying together to raise the baby that we had made, and by sticking together through the hard times and the joyful times. This year will be my two year anniversary, to a man who stole my heart. Yes, we married fast after only knowing each other for about eight months total, it is true that we were still getting to know each other after the marriage was 100% legal.
I am twenty years old, I have a son, I am married to a twenty-six year old man of God. Do I care what you think about the situation? No, I do not!! This is why. I was told that we were moving to fast, that I was being dumb by getting married to someone I barely knew, I was too young and I should wait till after I had my son so that I could think Clearly, that we would not make it a year because of the sole fact that we did not really know each other, that we do not have to feel obligated to marry each other just because we were going to have a child together. I was consistently hearing all of these negative things and all these doubters, but that only made it worth the struggles of being a young parent, a young naive mother, and a young wife. Justin and I beat the odds of all the doubt because we are going on year two.
Yes, we have struggled and we have been great, but I have been blessed, I have been given a man who loves me and provides for our families needs, who does what he can to make things better, who supports me when i make a drastic decision, and a man who loves God so much that i learn from him, and we grow to be one flesh. Who shares the same outlook on marriage that it is forever and that the "D Word"(divorce is the word in case you did not know) is nonexistent. We do not use it, we do not threaten it, I do not even think about it.
We are doing a great work here, by sticking it out and working through our problems and getting help when needed and just growing up and growing in general, God is so not done with either one of us and I cannot wait for the future, and this is why. Nevertheless we will not stop fighting to become better and become one, a union and a partnership, doing Good works for God, and spreading the Good news!
See we have this amazing story that God has already Written for us, that he is letting us live out. Our story is not done, a chapter may come to an end, but that means a new chapter will be beginning, a new adventure waiting for your exploration.
I am blessed to have such a loving husband, a little toddler who is such a blessing and a gift. I say gift because I do not know how much time we will get to spend with him, but I am no longer going to let the delusion that I will see him tomorrow, let me take the time we have to spend together for Granted, because I have and I know now that God could take him tonight, he could take me tonight, and he could take Justin tonight, so I am going to start enjoying every fit, the good and the bad moments that I have with Quinn.
To the chapter that is ending and the new one that is just beginning, I will live every moment to the fullest and enjoy every little detail, and I will teach Quinn lots of things, good and bad right from wrong.
Praise be to the God who gives and takes away, who gives us breath every morning we wake up, who gives us life, who loves us unconditionally, who lets us mess up and make our own free willed decisions but still disciplines and loves us!!!
Say AMEN if you serve a God who is extremely gracious to you, and all your past hiccups!
